#sakura is on her own for the rest of it tho. fortunately she's very smart and extremely motivated

[evilkitten3]

#itachi trying very hard to hide his obvious disease from the two highly talented mednin that are meant to be checking for that stuff#they allow this bc they fucking hate his guts#tobi also allows this bc tobi thinks watching this is incredibly funny#hidan tries to figure out if tsunade's healing ability is blasphemous or not#he decides it is but he can't do much about it#he does his best to make sure kakuzu is putting him back together instead tho since that's usually more painful#tsunade is fine with this. tsunade thinks hidan could stay as far away from her as he likes forever#hemophobia vs the walking autoerotic torture device#kisame thinks tonton is incredibly cute and is deeply disappointed that everyone thinks he wants to eat her#bizarrely tonton herself isn't too bothered by him. she's worried about that sword tho#deidara gets tired of the safety lectures real fast. he also doesn't like that shizune sides with sasori during art arguments#this is partly bc she thinks deidara is obnoxious and partly bc she likes talking about poison with sasori#konan is both happy to no longer be the only girl and a little uncomfortable bc. y'know. sannin#but nagato is on the mend (ish) so tsunade is a win in her book!#things get a bit awkward when tsunade asks nagato what he's doing with someone else's eyes in his skull tho#tobi has to do everything in his power to keep tsunade from finding out his fake secret identity bc he's sure she'll see right through him#she in fact does not. most of what hashirama told her about madara was. unhelpful in this particular instance#kakuzu is trying to invent time travel so he can go back and if not kill hashirama then at least keep him from reproducing#tsunade is his worst nightmare. and he deals with hidan on a regular basis. he finds a surprising friend in shizune tho#they don't agree on a lot but they agree that tsunade needs to be stopped. this is sadly not possible but the thought is nice#black zetsu is mostly just trying to figure out how distracting tsunade will be to madara when it manages to bring him back#tsunade heals sasuke while tobi infodumps about itachi and she immediately calls him a bitch bc that is NOT how you treat your baby brother#sasuke is her baby bro now (sasuke disagrees with this. tsunade does not care)#(he accidentally refers to her as nee-san exactly one time over a decade later and she never lets him live it down)#jiraiya becomes hokage and has to teach both naruto and sakura which is a nightmare for several reasons#< prev tags#you just did the whole lore on tags omg

pulling it out of the tags bc you peer reviewed it lol

also while we’re on the subject of the akatsuki. I really wonder how long the internal debate was to hire tsunade.

Pros:

shes fucking tsunade

do the akatsuki have a medic: no

do they need a medic: it would be helpful. pein is basically constantly dying.

people she cares about keep dying horribly so there’s a connection there? maybe they could get her on their side??

the goal of the organization is to capture all of the jinchuuriki and tsunade is a woman who is capable of punching an actual bijuu in the face and making it hurt.

Cons:

technically not a missing-nin, she just. kinda went awol. How disillusioned is she with the system. Unknown.

not only is she from konoha, but she’s jiraiya’s teammate. this isn’t a dealbreaker because they did hire orochimaru at one point, but still. complicated feelings.

kind of notorious which is not helpful as a clandestine organization of missing-nin. even if she learned to be more subtle, that would just raise the question of “hey, where the fuck did tsunade go”

if kakuzu has already been hired, this is a shitshow waiting to happen. She’s hashirama’s granddaughter. She’s terrible with money. She cannot be killed. He is already 3 seconds away from an aneurism at all times, this might just make him flip out completely.

Tobi’s Pros and Cons List (secret):

Madara would think it was funny if the last Senju became a missing-nin

If she joins, this might cause jiraiya to come after her. If tobi kills jiraiya, no more icha-icha is published. suffer in your trash can, kakashi.

kakuzu keeps killing all his partners and he would have a lot of difficulty killing her. also he makes very funny faces when he’s angry?? Tobi must weigh his own personal amusement against his organization’s combat effectiveness. Highly difficult.

tobi has never been punched through a wall before!